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Farewell to The Family

I cycled for 4 days with The Family (mum and kid), but it was time for us to go our separate ways.

It was a very intense and stimulating time, which eventually overwhelmed me, and for the last day I cycled on my own to regain some grounding.

I think I can’t quite fit in all my reflections on the time right now, but one part is a glimpse into what it means to be responsible for a small child all the time. I have big respect to all people fulfilling this role for children (or adults that need that environment of care).

In our society care is often assumed to be somebodies responsibility, often without deeper awareness of who is doing it, when and how.

I would love to see a care centred society that is able to deeply understand what is needed to nurture each person so that they can thrive in their own unique way. That feels a long way away.

For my part, I’m trying to learn a lot more about to to become aware and articulate my needs before my emotions cross over some line, which then causes me to need a quite sudden retreat. It’s a work in progress!

Anyway, on to some photos of the joyful fun time we spent together!

The interaction with each of the people I cycled with was almost opposite, with mum, we shared our thoughts on deep intellectual and emotional topics. Particularly powerful for me was being in a place with connection to Nazi Germany and hearing the family stories of the resistance in Warsaw. My eyes got watery!

With the kid, we also had a lot of conversation, but more like this:

me: woof. her: woof. me: woof. her: woof. (x20). me: miaow. her: miaow. me: miaow. her: miaow. (x20) … then maybe mooooooo. You get the idea 🙂 Something about the simple repetition is very pleasing to me (neurodiversity? or just like a calming mantra?). Often when cycling my brain and mind goes into a kind of simple circular pattern of thought, and here it felt like it was possible to vocalise and share that.

The connection on that level seems so simple and pure. Mirroring of sounds. I realise I do this with adults to some extent too, but I think small kids just get it! (adults often don’t, or it needs to be wrapped in an explicit context).

Ok, enough ramblings from me, onward with the photos…

This Post Has 4 Comments

  1. mariha

    Thanks for sharing! Very nice pics. The tree and the leaf are my favourite ones but I do really like all of them!

    Interesting what you found most interesting in our discussions… the stories didn’t really mean to be emotional.

    I wonder if this “needs” framework works well for you.

    Enjoyed being close to the nature and the type of sensitivity you have. Maybe not so much socio-emotional 😉 (theory is perfect, though!) but for everything else: sounds and views, trees, rivers, rain and fire, stars, timelessness and putting structure on everything, especially those highly intangible human feelings… Thanks! I am sure Tosia had great time too <3.

  2. Nick Sellen

    Thanks too 🙂

    I don’t mean that part was the most interesting of the chats we had, just the one they came to mind when I was writing that. I don’t think I can fit all the topics into a nice structure or list, they are maybe like threads of fabric woven together…

    I would like to write up some of the thoughts about connection, commitment, and autonomy. It’s a bit fuzzy in my head still though. Not quite baked.

    Also maybe abkut needs too. I think they exist, and then there are different frameworks or models or stories or beliefs about what to do next with them. I think I still don’t have a firm grasp of exactly what a “need” is (and isn’t). Also comparing with strategies to meet needs, as a separate thing. Ponder ponder ponder.

    1. mariha

      I would enjoy reading both of them. And also comparing to some non-Western thoughts on the same.

  3. John Hoggett

    I love your writing. Thanks for introducing me to your blog.

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